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The blog comparing FPL Players to Beers

by James Dowdeswell

We are now punch drunk on premiums and spoilt for choice.

Last week I paid top dollar for “CR Special Brew” and was richly rewarded. This Portuguese beer, which promised so much, delivered on a sunny Saturday afternoon. With the captaincy in place, two pints, soon became four and another for maximum bonus.

Later that afternoon, I sobered up when friends posted pics of an equally impressive “Romelu Lager Queue”. I planned to steer clear until Oktoberfest in Gameweek 7. Besides, he was being served in the opposite bar to my beloved Aston Villa.

This season is all about trying to cut as many premiums in your team as possible. It’s like going to the bar with £15 in your pocket, knowing you can only afford 3 beers.

My beer fridge is currently stocked with:

“CR SpecialBrew”

“Mo’ Beer In The Salah”

“Bruno’s Beer For Nando’s”

“Trent in AA”

With “San Miguel Antonio” out of stock this week, I have options:

A: “Wham Bam Ford’s Yorkshire’s Best.” Has been poorly served thus far, but Newcastle is a party town, and he could easily have a hatful and score.

B. Upgrade to “Romelu Lager Queue.” This strong, well balanced Belgian beer could easily overpower the Beaverton range in Tottenham. This would involve returning “Bruno’s Beer For Nando’s” in favour of a session ale. Perhaps “Torres False 9.” This hop forward craft beer can deliver at home, as we’ve seen through Lockdown. Or plump for “Green Would Score.'' This prolific Mancunuan golden ale is lighter and more carbonated than “CR7 Special Brew” and is certainly worth trying.

With “Mo’ Beer In The Salah” and “Trent in AA” permanently on tap, do I mix my drinks and revolve my guest ales? Or do I double fist it and have both “Romelu Lager Queue” and “CR7 Special Brew?”

We can’t drink them all, but it’s fun trying.

Good luck everyone.

James Dowdeswell is a comedian and author of “ThePub Manifesto: A Comedian Stands Up For Pubs”

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